To stumble. To fall. To move backwards.
--Time and time again I’ve fallen. Wounded by the boundaries that I set myself up against. I’m fifteen. Not many years to know just what this life can bring. I do know the corruption that this world has the potential of. I know what it’s like to wake up wishing I was six feet under, constantly scooting myself toward the edge. Regardless of the things in my past that I’ve done, I one day will feel beautiful. Love is supposed to be beautiful, or is it the components that make it up, make it beautiful? I’m a blank book, ready to be sketched in with the world around me. Starting with the one I truely love and who is my best friend. My world. The only one with the will power to stick it out and be with me. One day soon, I hope she can say the same. Until then, I don’t really know what love is. Or what love is capable of. All i do know is that I crave it. Hope she is the girl who will give it to me.
""What I learned was, when you do something different it gets people talking. And if you do enough crazy things you can change the entire conversation. This is my conversation. This is the story of learning myself before listening to others."
"i know she loves him… because she used to look at me like that"
"I keep my faces in a box stashed inside of me. It’s murky in there, overcast with feelings I don’t allow anyone to see."
Tricks, Ellen Hopkins (via susicle)
"I don’t belong here. I know that. But I don’t belong anywhere else, either. And that is at the heart of the black depression pressing down on me, flattening me. I have no place. No home. Sex, but no real affection. I am kept, but not cherished."
Ellen Hopkins, Tricks (via quotes-shape-us)
Tilt by Ellen Hopkins
Crank by Ellen Hopkins