To stumble. To fall. To move backwards.
--Time and time again I’ve fallen. Wounded by the boundaries that I set myself up against. I’m fifteen. Not many years to know just what this life can bring. I do know the corruption that this world has the potential of. I know what it’s like to wake up wishing I was six feet under, constantly scooting myself toward the edge. Regardless of the things in my past that I’ve done, I one day will feel beautiful. Love is supposed to be beautiful, or is it the components that make it up, make it beautiful? I’m a blank book, ready to be sketched in with the world around me. Starting with the one I truely love and who is my best friend. My world. The only one with the will power to stick it out and be with me. One day soon, I hope she can say the same. Until then, I don’t really know what love is. Or what love is capable of. All i do know is that I crave it. Hope she is the girl who will give it to me.
Loyalty vs Fidelity
“Deep in the black of the night I still think of you. I have 4am conversations with my heart and make pretend drunk calls to you. I’m not sorry you’re not here anymore, I’m sorry I still miss you.”
— Anna Roig / middleofthenightdaydreams
"You will want to forget the
person that shattered your
heart but the truth is you
cannot just forget someone
that was once there and
you cannot forget the fact
that they had taught you
what love felt like and
you cannot forget that
they once planted flowers
in your dead garden and
you cannot forget that
their voice was your
lullaby and you will
sometimes find yourself
absently smiling and
when someone asks
why you will realize
it is because you are
remembering a sweet
memory that you shared
and no matter how hard
you want to forget the
truth is you cannot forget
someone that you had once
tried so tremendously not
to forget when your heart
was still whole."
Don’t expect yourself to just forget. (via dollpoetry)
"It’s strange how your childhood sort of feels like forever. Then suddenly you’re sixteen and the world becomes an hourglass and you’re watching the sand pile up at the wrong end. And you’re thinking of how when you were just a kid, your heartbeat was like a kick drum at a rock show, and now it’s just a time bomb ticking out. And it’s sad. And you want to forget about dying. But mostly you just want to forget about saying goodbye."
Beau Taplin (via quotethat)
"I am not afraid to keep on living, I am not afraid to walk this world alone."
— Famous Last Words, My Chemical Romance
1). Wash your sheets, change your pillow case, wash your blankets. Wash away all the days you’ve spent withering in bed crying. Wash the tears off your pillowcase. Wash away the sad skin cells. Wash away the darkness.
2). Take a shower today. Brush your teeth. Make yourself a good breakfast and remind yourself that you deserve to eat. Dress to impress— yourself. Do whatever makes you feel put together, even if you’re not leaving the house.
3). Water your plants and remind yourself that you love them even though they’re not growing quickly. The same should go for yourself.
4). Feed your pets and remind yourself that there will be no one to love them if you commit suicide. Know that there is no one your cat purrs louder around and there is no one your dog’s face lights up for but you.
5). Return all the things you’ve been meaning to return. Return the clothes that make you feel fat. Return the clothes that make you feel ugly. Return your sick clothes. Throw them away if you need to. Let go if you need to. Cry if you need to and remember why you kept them for so long, but know that it is okay to let them go now. Return your cynicism to the cold boy who taught you it was better to love nothing. Make him feel how warm your heart is now without him.
6). Get new curtains. Close them. Close your eyes. Open them. Pull away the curtains. Let yourself reminded that there may be things in life you can’t control, but how much light enters your room is something you can control. The same can be said for your soul. You decide how much light you let in. You decide how many people you let in. You decide how many people you let help you. You decide how you love and who you love. Let that sink in for a moment.
7). Let yourself float in water. You only drown when you panic. Lie on your back and relax. Even on days when you can’t function, remind yourself that all you have to do is float. As long as you are breathing, you are alive.